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Vicevi o programerima

Koja je razlika izmedju programera i vampira?
Vampir moze da izdrzi duze na suncu.
 
Q: Whats yellow and dangerous?
A: *((int*)rand()) = 0xffff0000;
 
yooyo je napisao(la):
Q: Whats yellow and dangerous?
A: *((int*)rand()) = 0xffff0000;
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^^
:D Nisam se odavno ovako nasmejao.


Podsetilo me je na:
Unix russian rullete: [ `expr $RANDOM % 6` -eq 0 ] && rm -fr / || echo "You live"
 
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Kako Španski programeri broje ?
Unos. DOS, Windows...
 
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Kakva je slicnost izmedju zene programera i morskog praseta?
Pa, zena programer niti je programer niti zena, a morsko prase niti je prase niti je morsko :)
 
Kako me je moja "žena programer" pogledala, hahaha.
 
Nemojte je tuci, ocigledno je koleginica :D . Jeste malo smesno, mada daleko od istine. Najpametnija osoba koju licno poznajem je plavusa koja je radila u FB a sada u Microsoftu :D .
 
yooyo je napisao(la):
Nije smesno!
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I nije... ali je poprilicno blizu tacnog. ;)

Elem:
A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.

"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."

The man below replies, "You must work in management."

"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"*

"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."
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Koliko je ovo tacno... :d

10 Excuses of Programmers to a Non-technical Boss:
“That’s weird.”
“But it worked yesterday!”
“It must be a hardware problem.”
“It works on my machine.”
“Your computer might be infected with a virus.”
“Someone must have changed my code..”
“It really does that.”
“Oh my God you broke it!” – very effective for warding off the boss.
“Almost done.”
“Compiling!”
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Moj omiljeni:
Q: What is the most used language in programming?
A: Profanity.
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:D :D

Ova je toliko glupa fora - da je zato jos smesnija!
A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"
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Poslednja izmena:
vic je originalno za zenu inzenjera.
 
1. When Chuck Norris throws exceptions, it’s across the room.
2. All arrays Chuck Norris declares are of infinite size, because Chuck Norris knows no bounds.
3. Chuck Norris doesn’t have disk latency because the hard drive knows to hurry the hell up.
4. Chuck Norris writes code that optimizes itself.
5. Chuck Norris can’t test for equality because he has no equal.
6. Chuck Norris doesn’t need garbage collection because he doesn’t call .Dispose(), he calls .DropKick().
7. Chuck Norris’s first program was kill -9.
8. Chuck Norris burst the dot com bubble.
9. All browsers support the hex definitions #chuck and #norris for the colors black and blue.
10. MySpace actually isn’t your space, it’s Chuck’s (he just lets you use it).
11. Chuck Norris can write infinite recursion functions…and have them return.
12. Chuck Norris can solve the Towers of Hanoi in one move.
13. The only pattern Chuck Norris knows is God Object.
14. Chuck Norris finished World of Warcraft.
15. Project managers never ask Chuck Norris for estimations…ever.
16. Chuck Norris doesn’t use web standards as the web will conform to him.
17. “It works on my machine” always holds true for Chuck Norris.
18. Whiteboards are white because Chuck Norris scared them that way.
19. Chuck Norris doesn’t do Burn Down charts, he does Smack Down charts.
20. Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
21. Chuck Norris’s beard can type 140 wpm.
22. Chuck Norris can unit test entire applications with a single assert.
23. Chuck Norris doesn’t bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing.
24. Chuck Norris’s keyboard doesn’t have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
25. When Chuck Norris is web surfing websites get the message “Warning: Internet Explorer has deemed this user to be malicious or dangerous. Proceed?”.
26. All Starbucks baristas know Java in fear that one day Chuck Norris walks in and demands it.
 
Mozda ste vec culi ovaj vic...
Ulazi programer u mesaru i trazi 200-300 grama neke salame, prodavac ga upita :"Hocete da vam narezem?", a programer odgovara:"Ma jok nabaci mi na flesku".
;)
 
Razgovaraju dva hakera :
Znas onaj pogled, ono, kad devojci prosto viri seks iz ociju, kad se vidi da bi htela ..
Ne znam - kaze prvi
Ni ja ...
 
PHP - Post Humni Programeri :D

^^ tako mene prozvao kolega :d
 
Znam ja jedan dobar a mozda ga svi znate:
Trazi programer pare od caleta i cale mu kaze evo ti 1000 evra,a programer da zaokruzimo na 1024. :d
 
Zasto programeri brkaju Halloween i Bozic ?

Zato sto je Oct 31 = Dec 25.
 
To understand what recursion is, you must first understand recursion.
 
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:D
 
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