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Čuven
- Učlanjen(a)
- 18.06.2002
- Poruke
- 439
- Poena
- 620
Starting up in 2012
<http://www.networkworld.com/columnists/gibbs.html>
*08:52* Welcome to the Microsoft Windows Horizon operating system. Today
is July 10, 2012. The temperature outside is 105 degrees Fahrenheit, the
wind speed is 40 knots gusting to 80 knots, the air pollution level is
extreme and the UV level is dangerous. The Homeland Security Threat
Level is red.
*09:03* To log on, please enter your name and password. Thank you, your
account is valid. Please touch the fingerprint scanner. Thank you, your
fingerprint is recognized. Please look into the retinal scanner. Thank
you, retinal scan passed.
*09:05* Please place a drop of blood on the analyzer. Thank you, your
DNA is recognized. We note your sugar and albumen levels are high. Your
health insurance provider has been notified and your doctor informed as
per the Miller Limbaugh Computer Users Health Reporting Act of 2008. The
mandatory $1 health check fee will be added to your Microsoft Service
Account.
*09:06* Please say: "I accept all license terms and conditions and
surrender all legal rights to any and all compensation in the event of
loss of time, data or employment due to use or misuse of any Microsoft
products and services." Thank you, your voice profile is recognized.
*09:07* Please wait.
*09:15* Microsoft thanks you for your interest in Windows Horizon (aka
Vista 3). To ensure this is a valid copy, we will now enter the
authentication phase.
*09:20* Microsoft has been contacted over the Internet and your
connection speed has been verified to be adequate. The verification
process can be speeded up for a $5 fee added to your Microsoft Service
Account. Say or click "yes" to log on quicker or "no" to skip and continue.
*09:21* Thank you, your logon has been accelerated.
*09:31* Please wait.
*09:40* Your hardware has been verified and tested. The standard testing
charge of $1.50 will be added to your Microsoft Service Account.
*09:41* Warning: A potential drive failure has been detected on drive
No. 3. An early alert charge of $0.50 will be added to your Microsoft
Service Account. This drive is, according to your retailer, still under
warranty. To alert the manufacturer to send a replacement drive, say
"yes"; a $2 charge will be added to your Microsoft Service Account.
*09:42* Thank you. Microsoft is pleased to offer you FastSwap. FastSwap
will copy your data to the manufacturer where it will be installed on a
replacement drive. Microsoft will then initiate archiving all new data
written to the old drive, and update the new drive upon installation. A
charge of $75 for this service will be added to your Microsoft Service
Account. Say or click "yes" to take advantage of this service or "no" to
skip and continue.
*09:43* Thank you, FastSwap has started; you will be notified when the
replacement drive is shipped. Note that your ISP will charge you for
excessive bandwidth usage during this process; the estimated charge will
be $230.
*09:54* Your recent request to install an application not approved by
Microsoft has been denied. A processing fee of $50 will be added to your
Microsoft Service Account.
*09:55* Please wait.
*10:15* Microsoft Windows Horizon is validating the operating system
installation as well as all software on your system. This process will
take approximately 60 minutes.
*11:25* The copy of Windows Office 25 installed on this machine appears
to be invalid. This machine will now shut down and a Microsoft Service
representative accompanied by a Homeland Security agent will visit your
office within the next 48 to 72 hours to check and validate your
licensing. We are sorry for any inconvenience.
*11:26* Please have all documentation ready to avoid extra fees. We
advise you to have your legal counsel present. A processing fee of $20
will be added to your Microsoft Service Account.
:d
<http://www.networkworld.com/columnists/gibbs.html>
*08:52* Welcome to the Microsoft Windows Horizon operating system. Today
is July 10, 2012. The temperature outside is 105 degrees Fahrenheit, the
wind speed is 40 knots gusting to 80 knots, the air pollution level is
extreme and the UV level is dangerous. The Homeland Security Threat
Level is red.
*09:03* To log on, please enter your name and password. Thank you, your
account is valid. Please touch the fingerprint scanner. Thank you, your
fingerprint is recognized. Please look into the retinal scanner. Thank
you, retinal scan passed.
*09:05* Please place a drop of blood on the analyzer. Thank you, your
DNA is recognized. We note your sugar and albumen levels are high. Your
health insurance provider has been notified and your doctor informed as
per the Miller Limbaugh Computer Users Health Reporting Act of 2008. The
mandatory $1 health check fee will be added to your Microsoft Service
Account.
*09:06* Please say: "I accept all license terms and conditions and
surrender all legal rights to any and all compensation in the event of
loss of time, data or employment due to use or misuse of any Microsoft
products and services." Thank you, your voice profile is recognized.
*09:07* Please wait.
*09:15* Microsoft thanks you for your interest in Windows Horizon (aka
Vista 3). To ensure this is a valid copy, we will now enter the
authentication phase.
*09:20* Microsoft has been contacted over the Internet and your
connection speed has been verified to be adequate. The verification
process can be speeded up for a $5 fee added to your Microsoft Service
Account. Say or click "yes" to log on quicker or "no" to skip and continue.
*09:21* Thank you, your logon has been accelerated.
*09:31* Please wait.
*09:40* Your hardware has been verified and tested. The standard testing
charge of $1.50 will be added to your Microsoft Service Account.
*09:41* Warning: A potential drive failure has been detected on drive
No. 3. An early alert charge of $0.50 will be added to your Microsoft
Service Account. This drive is, according to your retailer, still under
warranty. To alert the manufacturer to send a replacement drive, say
"yes"; a $2 charge will be added to your Microsoft Service Account.
*09:42* Thank you. Microsoft is pleased to offer you FastSwap. FastSwap
will copy your data to the manufacturer where it will be installed on a
replacement drive. Microsoft will then initiate archiving all new data
written to the old drive, and update the new drive upon installation. A
charge of $75 for this service will be added to your Microsoft Service
Account. Say or click "yes" to take advantage of this service or "no" to
skip and continue.
*09:43* Thank you, FastSwap has started; you will be notified when the
replacement drive is shipped. Note that your ISP will charge you for
excessive bandwidth usage during this process; the estimated charge will
be $230.
*09:54* Your recent request to install an application not approved by
Microsoft has been denied. A processing fee of $50 will be added to your
Microsoft Service Account.
*09:55* Please wait.
*10:15* Microsoft Windows Horizon is validating the operating system
installation as well as all software on your system. This process will
take approximately 60 minutes.
*11:25* The copy of Windows Office 25 installed on this machine appears
to be invalid. This machine will now shut down and a Microsoft Service
representative accompanied by a Homeland Security agent will visit your
office within the next 48 to 72 hours to check and validate your
licensing. We are sorry for any inconvenience.
*11:26* Please have all documentation ready to avoid extra fees. We
advise you to have your legal counsel present. A processing fee of $20
will be added to your Microsoft Service Account.
:d
