195 razloga zbog kojih ste Arcanum Freak
1. You insult your friends by saying... Sure, stab me in the back Virgil, Magnus etc.
2. You rate people's abilities in terms of 13, 14, 17.
3. You've finally found and bought Mr.Vorman's portrait.
4. You understood that reference.
5. When people ask about your past you say that you "Survived a blimp crash and can't remember much else."
6. You keep telling people that you are Nasrudin Incarnate like as if it should MEAN something to them.
7. You've renamed your dog, Dog.
8. You buy excessive quantities of tea cakes and eat them because "...it's the only sweet in the world!"
9. You dump your girlfriend for someone named Raven.
10. You refer to multivitamins as Revitaliser.
11. You injure yourself and immediately look for Healing Salves.
12. You demand people refer to you as your character's name.
13. You drive through the desert looking for Tulla.
14. You're convinced that Stonehedge is just a cover name for the Ring of Brodgar.
15. You tell people you live just east of Shrouded Hills.
16. You refer to your grandfather as Stennar Rockcutter.
17. You send Tim Cain large sums of money and many thank you notes because you don't have to walk in those annoying zig-zag patterns anymore.
18. You understood that.
19. You request time off of work because "You must look for your friend Virgil who left you."
20. You send stalker mail to Tim Cain.
21. You keep modifying your father's collection of pistols, vainly attempting to create Droch's Warbringer.
22. You list 23 Vermillion Road, Tarant as your address on employment applications.
23. You get really bummed when restaurants don't carry Void Lizard Steak.
24. You have more than 20 screenshots of your character in action.
25. You refer to your computer as "My marvelous Electro Dynamo!"
26. You refuse to admit the fact that ANY information can be stored on anything BUT books.
27. You have a picture of Jayna at work.
28. You think of your talents/skills in terms of apprentice/expert/master.
29. You've attempted to pay for something in gold pieces stamped with obscure figureheads which you insist are "THE OLD KINGS OF ARCANUM!"
30. You replay the game because you've missed an obscure dialog line which only occurs on a particular day, on a particular time and only if you're drunk.
31. You expect tech charts to disappear after you study them.
32. You're afraid to visit your doctor because "You're not much good with bank robbers."
33. You understood that.
34. You have your wife reenact your favourite fantasy "Ok honey, your name is Bunny and we're gonna roll in the dirty...just as soon as I find that damn Amulet of Beauty..."
35. You're still reading this list.
36. You have time to create a web page devoted to Arcanum.
37. You get the flu and swear that you've been poisoned by Grumwalde.
38. You know who this is.
39. You explore caves looking for the Ghost of Bessie Toone.
40. You visit people's homes and have this overwhelming urge to loot everything.
41. You feel guilty going to work because "Arronax will destroy the world!"
42. You search the Yellow Pages for P.Schuyler and Sons Inc.
43. You wire ahead to Elder Joachim and ask for specific information on the Molochean Hand.
44. You actually understood what all that was about.
45. You refer to your physician as "Doc Roberts"
46. You've been banned from church for yelling out "GO IN THE LIGHT OF NASRUDIN!"
47. You've thrown away mousetraps and bought a gun instead.
48. You have fantasies about Raven.
49. You have fantasies about Raven and Jayna together.
50. Your friends send you out on a food run and you go to another country. After all, you have all the time in the world to complete "THE QUEST".
51. You throw a birthday party and put "Happy Level 19" instead of their age.
52. You go to a pit fight and are disappointed not to see elven wizards and ogres participating.
53. You call up your mother in law and ask if she needs any favours done in exchange for sex with her daughter.
54. You've given serious consideration to remodelling your house after the Bates mansion.
55. You've listed Sebastian, Franklin Payne and Vollinger as character references on a job application.
56. You list "Master of Persuasion" as a talent when applying for a burger joint job.
57. Sharon Shellman sends you email saying "Arcanum 2 will be out in a year or so ... STOP BOTHERING ME!"
58. Your therapist has classed you as paranoid for your belief that "You're the incarnation of a powerful elf wizard. Only human. Er..."
59. You've no fear of taking on 5 real life thugs at the same time...after all you've slain demons and Shamblers.
60. You've made Ma Cookhill's Halfling Bread. (GUILTY AS CHARGED!!!...It was good...
61. You've signed "Merwin Tumblebrook" on a check.
62. You've written a 2000 page screenplay, called "Arcanum: The Movie."
63. You feel skeptical towards any professional training system that does not include killing rats, looting dead people and speaking to ghosts.
64. You leave some important shopping for the future "Until my Haggle Skill is better."
65. You carry grenades with you "because they're so light and handy for bartering."
66. You can't find China on the map but you know the exact longitude and latitude of all Arcanum locations.
67. You think you can chop someone in half with a rusty dagger.
68. You've found yourself saying "Now what would Elder Joachim do in this situation?"
69. You think that the undead actually EXIST and moreover, roam around in packs.
70. You think fluffy rabbits will come after you, morph into the Stillwater Giant and try to kill you.
71. You start referring to coffee as "Fatigue Restorer."
72. You're afraid of bunnies.
73. You understood that.
74. You think that wearing all-white suits will actually grant you the ability to sneak into other people's houses and steal all of their goodies...without anyone noticing a thing.
75. You can convert real world prices to their Arcanum gold equivalent within seconds.
76. You have a picture of a follower in your wallet but not one of your wife, kids, etc.
77. You draw on the roadmaps in your car the exact locations of Tarant, Caladon, Ashbury etc.
78. You become an exclusive lemon and potato farmer.
79. You know why.
80. When a follower dies, you fall on your keyboard screaming "NOOOO!!!!" and geekily whining, only to awake days later from your stupor.
81. You ditch your entire wardrobe in favour of a "SMOKING JACKET" or "ELEGANT DRESS" thinking that it'll make people want to give you things for free, sleep with you and tell you their secrets even if you're a butt ugly little wank (Or wankette respectively
82. You kill an innocent girl and when the police comes to get you, you keep digging in her closet screaming that "THE SWORD OF BALTHAS HAS TO BE HERE!!! HAS TO BE!!!"
83. You have a small shrine to Nasrudin in your closet.
84. You claim that the scar you got from crashing your bike when you were 5 was actually caused by a "Prodigious Vermin" and even though it's ugly, can be easily and fully healed by good ol' Doc Roberts in Shrouded Hills.
85. You understood every bit of that.
86. You send your dog, Dog, out to attack people you don't like.
87. You've been taken in on animal-cruelty charges for making your dog attack grizzly bears at the Zoo...and then trying to ressurect him with herbs.
88. You begin classifying people according to their looks by Halfling, Ogre, Orc, Elf, Gnome, etc...
89. You've dissected every clock in the house in search of a replacement "...groth" gear.
90. You can create a charater in under 15 seconds.
91. You asked your real-life friend Virgil if you could borrow his smoking jacket for "Your date with Raven."
92. He knew exactly what you were talking about and let you borrow it.
93. You searched the shed nearest to your doctor's office for healing supplies.
94. You carry a lantern with you at all times. Afterall, there's no telling when you might have to do some cave exploring.
95. You start remembering people's names along with hitpoints and fatigue.
96. You find yourself addressing people as "My Good Sir" or "Dear Madame" in casual conversation.
97. You always kill the previous owner when getting a dog because "He was mean to it anyway."
98. You're a doctor and you ONLY use bandages and herbs, stubbornly refusing all other forms of medicine as "nonexistent."
99. You take Dog to the zoo to feast on "Void Lizard flesh" instead of buying him dog biscuits.
100. You try and disprove every major religion by snooping around church back rooms.
101. You are afraid of graveyards. After all, the undead are a threat to be reckoned with.
102. You comb beaches looking for the "Shipwrecked Armadillo of Vendigroth".
103. You wonder why E.A. Poe mistook Raven for an animal.
104. When you think about it, you know why and you actually smile.
105. You spend your family vacation in the boonies searching for "QINTARRA!"
106. You've been caught sneaking around people's houses, smashing up all locked containers because "My lockpick skill wasn't good enough for them bastards!"
107. You refer to anyone large and strong as "CHUKKA".
108. You've been arrested for shoplifting and when questioned by the officer you said "But the money is automatically given when I take something!" Sadly, they did not believe you.
109. You've tried to buy groceries with poppy flowers, witchbane and old clock parts.
110. You go in a gun store and ask if they carry Shreck's Multi Barrelled Pistol.
111. You visit an Arcanum fansite every day.
112. You bought a violin just to be able to play the Arcanum soundtrack.
113. You go to brothels and look for sheep in the back room.
114. You stop at churches and ask for Alexander, First Warrior Priest.
115. You try murdering all dog owners you meet, in hope of their dog following you after their demise.
116. You go into a pharmacy and ask for healing salves, fatigue restorers and elixir of prowess.
117. You can't leave town without killing anyone around the outskirts.
118. You stop people on the street and ask for the latest gossip.
119. You also bug them about any jobs they need doing.
120. You call your grandpa Kerghan because he's so hateful
. 121. You go to a cosmetics shop and ask for Morning Star Perfume.
122. You go to the basement of a church and ask people "Where do you keep the relics of St. Mannox?"
123. You think that putting a magnet in your grandfather's top hat will turn it into the ultimate protection against bullets.
124. You die horribly because you apply the above principle.
125. Someone challenges you to a boxing duel and you laugh and say, "Hah, you can't hurt me, I have 5/5 Melee and Dodge, not to mention 219 hit points and fatigue, PLUS a natural armor class of 8.
126. You tell the post office that any letters addressed to Vermillion Road should be sent to your home.
127. You build a humongous door like obscurity in your back yard and call it a Shrine to Nasrudin.
128. You've been arrested numerous times for breaking into catacombs looking for "THE GEM OF MALACHI RETCH".
129. You think that Beethoven and Mozart all ripped off the Arcanum soundtrack for their "CRAP".
130. You read the Gunslinger Chronicles and think "Geesh, that guy had it easy!"
131. You think twice about making any kind of motion because you are wary of the action point cost.
132. You expect your friends to follow you at all times and wait by your bedside whilst you sleep.
133. You have Arcanum themes and sounds on your computer desktop.
134. You keep your box from Arcanum displayed on top of your TV.
135. You WANT to contribute to this list.
136. You have ALREADY written a list exactly like this one yourself.
137. You have tried to reprogam The Matrix to suit your Arcanum needs.
138. You get a job in the morgue so you can practice your newly acquired Conjure Spirit spell on those poor corpses.
139. You INVENT, PLAY and COMPETE in the Arcanum drinking game.
140. You understand everything in "You are an Arcanum Junkie If..."
141. You comb forests looking for Will-o-The-Wisps.
142. You refuse to drink wine because it'll make you stupid, willess and uncharismatic.
143. All day long you stare at mountainsides because you KNOW the secret entrance to the Wheel Clan has to be right THERE.
144. You look for Elder Joachim and Alexander in your church.
145. You are taking this list seriously.
146. You are disappointed when people don't give you change in gold pieces.
147. You sneak behind people to steal their things.
148. You don't "TRADE", you "BARTER!!!"
149. You ask for Mechanised Guns at your local gun shop.
150. You go to hardware stores and ask about Pyrotechnic Axes.
151. You kill innocent campers because they "Have the Mayor's Dagger!"
152. You understood that.
153. You've played the game multiple times to achieve ALL possible endings.
154. You can sketch PERFECTLY and recite ALL ending screens for the game.
155. You wonder why the local library does not carry any gunsmithy manuals that will actually ENABLE you to make awesome guns even if you fumble with Legos.
156. You call information service and ask for the Roseborough Inn
157. They can't help you so you ask for the address of the Wellington instead.
158. You've given serious consideration to joining the gang of a person named Darian.
159. You've coated your sneakers in aluminum foil and tried to convince yourself they were "ARMOR PLATED BOOTS."
160. You go on a road trip and hope you don't get any hostile encounters.
161. You are drafted into the army and wonder why they don't teach you Archery or Swordsmanship. What do they expect you to fight with? Guns? They were just invented and they are dangerous! Plus, you have Technophobia!
162. You lost your keys and try blowing your front door up with dynamite.
163. You insist on dressing your friends because "They don't know what's best for them!"
164. You wonder why your alarm clock doesn't have a "Rest Until Healed" button.
165. You haven't quite figured out how Fate Points will aplly to your life but you keep looking into it.
166. Instead of calling an exterminator you shoot bugs with a rifle.
167. You wonder why the local police officers aren't equipped with Guard Leather Armor and Swords.
168. You wear a ludicrous orange bathrobe and call yourself "KERGHAN".
169. You've been kicked out of football games for showing up dressed in tin-can armor.
170. You think you can heal scars and crippled limbs instantly using just bandages.
171. You think that everyone is right handed. Even if you are not.
172. "Home" on your Internet Browser takes you to "Arcanum.Sierra.Com"
173. You wonder why the Star Trek guy sounds just like Virgil.
174. You mimic Arcanum NPC speech patterns.
175. You have children named Preston, Gilbert, Cedric, Magnus, Thorvald and Lianna.
176. You wonder why time doesn't go by quickly when you walk the outskirts of a city.
177. You have pictures of Tim Cain in your room.
178. You've ever asked a drug dealer to hook you up with some absinthe.
179. You carry around bottles of cheap wine just in case any homeless people ask you for change.
180. You know why.
181. You only travel by train or boat. Blimps are dangerous. (You are unaware that they are actually, like, not in USE.)
182. You think that fights and gunshot wounds are incosequential (After all you've braved the Black Mountain mines and even defeated the Mighty Kerghan in the Void!). You can always just sleep them off.
183. You name the characters in HEARTS: Sebastian, Loghaire, Dog, Murgo.
184. You call any of your friends an ogre, halfling, gnome etc.
185. You think all dumb people are Frankenstein Monsters.
186. You refer to your teacher or boss as Kerghan the First of the Necromancers.
187. You ask everyone you meet if they'd like to join up with you.
188. You want to say something but can't find a match in your speech window.
189. You move only after everyone else has.
190. You present gypsies with obscure pieces of junk and FORCE them to "IDENTIFY IT!".
191. You carry a sword in front of policemen and expect them to be ok with it.
192. You kill vermin with pistols, axes and rifles.
193. You fail at something and then attempt to "LOAD A SAVED GAME".
194. You've searched the wilds for forgotten graveyards and hateful blind old people.
195. You found both
